Ballerina (2025)

Young Eve (Victoria Comte) sat in the hospital with a glass-encased ballerina in her lap; there was blood on her and the glass.  Earlier, she had been with her father when armed men attacked.  They were led by The Chancellor (Gabriel Byrne).  Her father fought until he was mortally wounded but succeeded in getting her away from the men.  Now she was alone.  Then Winston (Ian McShane) arrived and offered her a future.  He delivered her to the Director (Anjelica Huston) of the Ruska Roma.  Now she would train.

Twelve years later, Eve (Ana de Armas) had learned to dance, to shoot, and to fight.  She felt she was ready.  The Director agreed and dispatched her on a mission.  Success.  A tattoo was etched to her back to mark her success.  Two months later, she stood before a broken mirror and pulled a shard of mirror from her shoulder.  Then, she took a picture of the dead man and made her way out of the bathroom, stepping over multiple bodies on the way.  Oh, she's lethal.  As she left, she was attacked, but she kills her assailants.  One of them had the same mark as the men who killed her father.  The Director told her to forget it.  She could not forget it.

From here, the movie becomes one long series of gunfights and brawls.  Story, dialogue, and character development are unnecessary.  The plot of Electra avenging her murdered father is as old as literature; it needs no development, just execution.  The problem is the suspension of disbelief.  That she is an expert with a gun, knife, or sword is not a problem.  However, once she gets into an unarmed brawl, it's just silly.  During her training, the movie tried to inoculate against that, explaining that she had to set the terms of engagement to her advantage; that is, don't try to beat a wrestler by wrestling him.  Good advice.  Then she gets into physical brawls.  Sigh.  The amount of punishment she suffers during her extended fights are beyond what John Wick suffered, and it was a stretch for him.

Though the fights are well-choreographed and exciting, Eve's fight skills vary widely depending on what has been choreographed.  For instance, during a lull in combat, she came across the barista who server her coffee.  She's not a threat, right?  Wrong.  A battle commenced and was quite a challenge for Eve despite having a gun and a knife.  Later, Eve was faced with six men with assault rifles; no problem, she had a katana and sliced and diced the bunch of them.  Wow.  Lucky that she didn't have to face 6 unarmed baristas there instead.

The villains are stupid.  Despite having communication, the villains never converge.  They just wander the streets like video game NPCs who wait for Eve to show up and kill them.  She is on their turf, a town where she has never been and doesn't have a map, but she is always surprising them.  Where John Wick was on the run and being chased, these guys know exactly where she is headed: to kill the Chancellor.  How about we put the Chancellor in a non-bulletproof car to extract him but drive through the part of town where she was last reported?  Sound like a good plan?

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) makes a couple of appearances.  First, his dealings with the Director (John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum) are partly replayed and Eve briefly interacts with him.  Later, he arrived in the town where she was running rampant with instructions to neutralize her lest a war between Ruska Roma and the Chancellor was triggered.  When one considers how easily he subdued her, repeatedly, it is a wonder that she was such a threat to this town.  Nonetheless, it was cool to see John Wick in action again.

The movie ends with Eve receiving word that she has a $5 million bounty on her head.  Here is an opportunity for a sequel in which Eve must fight wave after wave of assassins, repeating the career of John Wick.

Eve is entirely too good after a couple of months in the field.  She, like Rey (Daisy Ridley) from Star Wars, is just naturally better than everyone because reasons.  Her backstory is too bland, especially compared to John Wick.  He had his dog killed and his car stolen.  That's original.  He left the life for a woman who soon died of cancer.  Yeah, that sucks.  He had years of experience where he earned his reputation as the top killer.  By contrast, Eve wants to avenge her dad.

"Hello.  My name is Eve Macarro.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die!"

Old hat.  Then there are the interesting twists that are wasted.  Oh, look, this assassin that we've been seeing around since Prague is actually her sister.  Whoa.  Maybe they will team up and...  she's dead.  Sigh.  Well, good thing we included that in the movie.  I never got invested in Eve's journey and was kind of indifferent whether she succeeded or not.

Worth watching to see the old gang from the John Wick movies, but otherwise a skip.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)

During WWII, the British were having a hard time in the war thanks to the submarine warfare of Germany.  They discovered a weakness in the U-boat fleet; air filters.  If they could destroy enough air filters, it would hamstring the German U-boats' operations.  The Germans were sailing out of Fernando Po, a Spanish-held island off the coast of Africa.  Spain was neutral, so attacking German ships in port was an act of war.  Brigadier Gubbins (Cary Elwes), codename M, knew just the man for the job: Augustus 'Gus' March-Phillips (Henry Cavill).  Gus agreed to the mission but only if he could pick his team.  One of his choices was unavailable, as he was in a German camp.  No problem, we'll rescue him on the way.

The team is split in two parts: Heron (Babs Olusanmokun) and Marjorie Stewart (Eiza Gonzalez) traveled to Fernando Po openly, while Gus and his crew of commandos travel by sailboat.  Heron owned a bar on Fernando Po and collaborates with the British.  Marjorie was an entertainer and tasked with seducing the sadistic Nazi commander, Heinrich Luhr (Til Schweiger).  They were to scout the area and provide intel to the sailboat team.  Gus and crew had run-ins with both a German ship and a Royal Navy ship, both of whom wanted to stop them.

The movie is jam-packed with action.  Explosions, stabbings, shootings, hacking with axes, extreme archery, and even some fisticuffs and wrestling.  There is no shortage of blood and death.  What there is a shortage of is danger.  Even in the most dire circumstances, it never feels like the characters are threatened.  The crack team of commandos kill vast swathes of Nazis and rarely suffer a bruise.  In the final battle, one character took a bullet to the shoulder.  Ooh, that must sting.

Though based on a true story, it comes off as an over-the-top action extravaganza.  First, Anders Lassen (Alan Ritchson) is like a force of nature that just rips through Nazis like a hot knife through butter.  He kills multiple Nazis with a single arrow, clears the lower decks of a ship with an axe, slices, dices, and stabs Nazi sailors without suffering any injury other than a shirt stained with blood.  Is he some sort of superhero?  Marjorie is supposed to be the femme fatale who uses her wiles and sexuality to distract and seduce.  Of course, she's also the best shot, embarrassing the locals that Heron has recruited.  Luhr, who had been hyped as this nasty and formidable boss, was dispatched with ease.  Sigh.

There are some fun bits.  Ian Flemming (Freddie Fox) is M's adjutant.  When he said, "Fleming, Ian Fleming," I chuckled.  For those not in the know, Ian Flemming wrote the James Bond books and served in British Intelligence during World War II.  According to the IMDb Trivia, Gus March-Phillips was an inspiration for Bond.  Cavill, Ritchson, and Henry Golding have great chemistry, making a fine team.

As far as spy movies go, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. was better.  Still, this was good popcorn fun, as most Guy Ritchie films are.

Thelma & Louise (1991)

35 years after it was released, I finally got around to seeing this film.  Meh.  Let's expand.

Thelma (Geena Davis) was unhappily married, and Louise (Susan Sarandon) was an overworked waitress.  As luck would have it, Louise's boss was in the midst of a divorce and would have to sell his cabin in the woods.  In the meantime, he was allowing all his staff a turn.  The two women set out, though Thelma has wildly overpacked for a weekend getaway.  Against Louise's wishes, they stop for drinks at a roadhouse.  Inevitably, a man hit on Thelma.  Harlan (Timothy Carhart) made a concerted effort to get Thelma drunk and, while dancing with her, spun her until she was about to be sick.  Oh, let's get some air outside.  BTW, Harlan's a rapist.  Of course, by the time she is bent over a car in the parking lot, one can't help but think Thelma is the dumbest woman on the planet.  How naive can you be?  Luckily, Louise arrived with a gun and saved Thelma.  Then she shot Harlan to death.  Well, he deserved it.  So, let's get in the car and race away!  Oh, Louise isn't much brighter than Thelma.  Great.  Thelma wanted to go to the police.  Nope.  New plan: let's flee to Mexico!  They are in Arkansas and want to flee to Mexico, but Louise absolutely, positively will not drive in Texas.  Sigh.  Okay, we'll drive through Oklahoma to New Mexico and somehow overshoot to Arizona.  However, they didn't bring enough money.  Louise calls her boyfriend, Jimmy (Michael Madsen), and convinced him to wire her money to Oklahoma City.  On the way, they meet the charming and handsome J.D. (Brad Pitt), who Thelma wants to bring along.  Seriously!  Did you learn nothing from Harlan?  Though J.D. claimed to be a college student looking for a ride home, he later admitted to being a robber on parole.  Well, in that case, come into my room and let's get it on.  OMG!  Thelma, you can't be this dumb?  Louise had entrusted the money from Jimmy to Thelma's care and, surprise, surprise, J.D. absconded with it.  No problem at all.  Thelma took the gun and held up a local convenience store, repeating the spiel that J.D. told her.

Hal (Harvey Keitel) had been investigating Harlan's death and wanted to talk to Thelma and Louise.  When he saw video footage of Thelma's robbery, he reassessed from witnesses to suspects.  As they had crossed into Oklahoma, it was now a matter for the FBI.  The manhunt - womanhunt - was on!

The two are finally cornered near the Grand Canyon.  Unwilling to surrender, they drive the car off the cliff to plunge into the canyon.

Of course, I knew the ending, so that was no surprise at all.  The surprising thing was how every man they encountered along the way proved to be lech, a thief, or a rapist.  At every turn, they made the worst decision that led them to their inevitable doom.  Now that I've seen it, I don't understand why it was so popular.  But I am not the intended audience.

Skip.

The Octagon (1980)

In France, a diplomat exits an embassy and gets in his car.  He has hardly departed through the gate when a pair of assassins kill him and most of his entourage.  One of the assassins was killed.

In the USA, Scott James (Chuck Norris), his pal AJ (Art Hindle), and AJ's girlfriend attended a dance performance.  Both Scott and AJ looked admiringly on the lead dancer, Nancy (Kim Langford).  Scott asked her out.  At dinner, Scott talked about Nancy's dance style, which incorporated martial arts; Scott is a martial arts champion who has retired from fighting.  Nancy explained that her brother was into martial arts.  Oddly, she asked about the assassination in France.  Scott took Nancy to her house and stepped into a ninja assault.  Ninjas had killed Nancy's family and killed her almost as soon as she entered the house.  Scott fought and defeated them.  Afterwards, he thought it was impossible.  The ninja were gone.  There were only two people who could train ninja: him and his brother!

Flashback: Scott (played by Mike Norris - Chuck's son) and Seikura were raised by Isawa (John Fujioka) and trained as ninjas.  Though one was Japanese and the other American, they were raised as brothers.

McCarn (Lee Van Cleef) called upon Scott and brought up the ninja issue.  McCarn was something of a private contractor in the field of killing terrorists.  Could Scott lend a hand?  Scott declined.

Despite his insistence that his brother could not be training ninja terrorists, the evidence repeatedly indicated otherwise.  Would he have to fight his brother?  First, he would have to locate the secret training camp rumored to be somewhere in Central America.

In the third act, Scott entered the octagon, a building that served as the training center for the ninjas.  Of course, Scott proved adept in overcoming it.  One of his best fights on film took place, where he fought Kyo (Richard Norton - a Karate black belt and friend of Norris) the ninja enforcer.

This movie began the ninja craze of the 1980s.  The following year, Sho Kosugi began his string of ninja movies: Enter the Ninja (1981), Revenge of the Ninja (1983), Ninja III: The Domination (1984), and the hilariously campy Nine Deaths of the Ninja (1985).  He also starred as the villain in the TV series, The Master (1984), which starred none other than Lee Van Cleef as the titular master.  In 1985, Michael Dudikoff took up the ninja mantle in American Ninja (1985).  Amazingly, he was raised by a Japanese ninja played by John Fujioka!  How many young Americans did he train in Ninjutsu?  Dudikoff returned in American Ninja 2 (1987).

There is more story than required.  There is also a vast array of characters for an action film.  As far as ninja, these are not the best.  These guys just wear black clothes, not the particular gear that would become a staple of later movies.  Then again, a lot of these 'ninja' are just terrorists from around the world who attended a training camp for a month.  Hardly ninjas.

The weakest part of the movie is Scott thinking.  While Chuck Norris has a pensive look, his voice echoes his thoughts.  The movie would improve greatly without the echoing voice over.

Good popcorn fun and recommended.

The Covenant (2023)

Master Sergeant John Kinley (Jake Gyllenhaal) was in charge of a squad of men who scoured Afghanistan for weapons caches.  They might be operating as a checkpoint on a road, patrolling through towns, or even going to remote sites to investigate.  Of course, they needed an interpreter.  The last one having died, Kinley hired a new one, Ahmed (Dar Salim).  Their working relationship was soon strained as Ahmed frequently made decisions contrary to Kinley's instructions.  However, that this tended to achieve the stated goal kept Ahmed on the payroll.  That he saved the team from an ambush also added to his value.  During one interaction with a local source, the team learned of a weapons cache in the hinterlands.  They set out.  Though the operation went well initially, wave after wave of reinforcements attacked while the team awaited support.  Kinley and Ahmed found themselves separated alone in the Afghan wilderness and unable to call for support.  Could they get back to base before the Taliban found them?

The movie is told in three parts.  It starts with Kinley and his team operating in Afghanistan.  After the fight at the remote weapons store, it becomes a survival story with Kinley and Ahmed fleeing Taliban pursuit.  The final part sees Kinley trying to get a visa for Ahmed so he can be extracted from an increasingly hostile Afghanistan

The movie has some good action scenes and certainly has some tense moments, but it is mostly dull.  That the two main characters don't get along is important as far as the overall story but makes the pair less fun to watch.  Their conflict isn't the buddy cop humor arguments, but just oil and water not mixing.  Toward the end they have mutual respect and some light moments, but it's a long slog to get there.

Just okay.  Obviously, Guy Ritchie or Gyllenhaal fans should see it, but otherwise this is skip.

An Artillery Officer in Mexico

Robert Anderson, best remembered as the commander of Fort Sumter at the beginning of the Civil War, was a captain in the 3rd Artillery Regiment.  He was stationed in Tampa Bay when he received orders to go to Mexico.  Where others kept journals, Anderson was a prolific writer of letters.  Those to his wife were collected and printed in 1911.

The letters begin in November on the very day that his wife departed by carriage from Tampa Bay bound for her father's estate in Georgia.  Anderson spent the next month or so packing, selling, or donating all their belongings.  Though he had moved aboard the John Potter - a brig that would transport him and his company to Tampico - in December, it did not leave port until January.  The trip to Tampico was uncomfortable.  He arrived in Tampico in the last week of January and spent several days aboard ship until it could enter the harbor and lodgings ashore were settled.  The entire month of February was spent in Tampico and Anderson relates the adventures of Col. De Russy.  By the end of the month, he feared that Colonel Gates - commander of the 3rd Artillery - would retain his company to garrison Tampico.  He dodged that fate and sailed to Veracruz.  Here he was in his element, commanding one of the batteries during the siege.  After the city was taken, he was stationed at the famous fort, San Juan de Ulua.  It was a flee-infested mess.  Happily, his division set off for the interior a week later.  His company was not engaged at the battle of Cerro Gordo.  Over the following months, he was stationed in Perote Castle, Tepeyahualco, and Puebla.  In August, the army moved on Mexico City.  He was seriously wounded during the battle of El Molino del Rey.  Just over a month later, he was sent back to the United States to recover.

Anderson spends most of his time telling his wife about his daily life in the various places he stayed, the accommodations, the men he socialized with, the food he ate, the cost of food, the oddities of Mexico, and most especially his desire to rejoin his wife.  The letters are more of a travelogue than a military campaign record.  This is a very devout man who closes most letters by praising God.  He refers to his letters as 'chats' with his wife and is always eager for mail to arrive or to have an opportunity to send mail.  He numbers his letters so that she can know if she missed one.  Once deep into Mexico, he warns her that the mails are often intercepted.  The letters were generally sent as a packet, with many days detailed before being sent.

Anderson is a man who does not seek praise or favor but often feels he has been overlooked.  He is occasionally miffed to see comparative novices getting high rank in newly formed regiments while established officers are not considered.  He is no fan of President Polk, viewing him as a politician of the worst sort.  On the other hand, he has the highest of regard for General Winfield Scott.  The clash of personalities within the military is often on display in the letters.  Anderson was more partial to Ethan Allen Hitchcock than William Jenkins Worth.

Anderson was 41 when he set foot in Mexico.  His wife, Eliza, was 19.  She was the daughter of General Duncan Clinch.  Anderson died in 1871 and his wife died in 1905.  His daughter discovered the cache of letters and, after redacting purely personal details, had them published.

Interesting but not for everyone.

An Immigrant Soldier in the Mexican War

Frederick Zeh (Tsay) was an educated immigrant from Germany who found himself working as a farm laborer in Pennsylvania. He had been a book seller in Europe.  Discouraged by his status, he tried to join a volunteer regiment that was headed to Mexico.  One regiment had already been filled, and it had many Germans.  The 2nd regiment had few, if any, Germans and Zeh was refused.  However, he discovered that the regular army was recruiting for a special unit, the Mountain Howitzer and Rocket Company.  The mountain howitzer could be disassembled and loaded on three mules, which allowed it to be placed in locations too difficult for regular guns.  Then there were the Hale's rockets, an improvement on the Congreve rocket from the War of 1812.  The company recruited a hundred soldiers, half of whom were German or Irish, and three officers.

Zeh sailed from Philadelphia to Virginia, where he received military training.  Then, they set out for Mexico.  The company landed on the beaches near Veracruz and setup their battery.  The howitzers were underpowered for siege warfare but were kept busy.  Zeh's job was to keep the battery supplied with ammunition.  After the surrender of Veracruz, the company marched inland and fought at Cerro Gordo.  In fact, the portability of the mountain howitzers resulted in them being emplaced on a nearby hill to engage the Mexican defenses.  Captain Robert E Lee had blazed the trail to place the howitzers.  From there, the company continued to Jalapa and then Puebla, mostly to while away the summer.  In August, the army marched on Mexico City and the company was engaged in the battle of Contreras & Churubusco.  Mostly unsupported, the howitzers drew a lot of fire and many of the men were killed or wounded, including Zeh.

Zeh found himself in the hospital and worried he might die.  He willed his worldy goods, such as they were, to a fellow German in the company.  He survived.  The doctors arranged for him to stay on at the hospital since he could speak fluent English and German, very useful skill when many of the German soldiers couldn't speak English.  Thus, he missed out on the final battles of the war.

The account was written decades after the events but many of his details lined up with history.  It was interesting that the Germans didn't much like the Irish and the two groups often clashed.  Zeh mentioned that the officers were not keen on foreigner soldiers, but this was most especially the case in volunteer units.  Regular units were more tolerant.

The Mountain Howitzer and Rocket Company was an oddball unit.  Though fielding artillery, it was not part of an artillery regiment; it was an Ordnance company.  Like the Voltigeurs, it was an experimental unit that, despite its contributions during the war, was disbanded upon returning to New Orleans in 1848.

At just over a hundred pages, this is a quick read and a different account of Winfield Scott's campaign into Mexico.  Recommended.