Sheena (1984)

36 years after it premiered in theaters, I finally got around to seeing this movie.  It only took a pandemic followed by rioting to get me to see it.

The movie opens with a family driving at night through the African wilderness.  Philip and Betsy are here to investigate the healing soil of the area.  When they arrive, they find a man buried except for his head.  No sooner have they climbed out of their jeep than natives light bonfires and begin chanting.  The buried man is pulled out and he is healed!  Amazed, Philip and Betsy are determined to explore a nearby cave for answers, leaving their toddler, Janet, with a native woman.  Of course, they are killed and the tribal shaman adopts Janet and renames her Sheena.

Many years later, shaman has had visions of the king's murder and she must warn him.  She arrives too late and is instead framed for the crime.  Sheena (Tanya Roberts) jumps into action and uses her ability to speak with animals through telepathy to rescue shaman.  A column of military vehicles are sent in pursuit and Sheena must use all the animals of the savannah and jungle to overcome them.

Vic Casey (Ted Wass) is a sports reporter immediately entranced by Sheena's beauty.  Sure, there is a story about a murdered king and a treasonous brother but did you see that blonde!  He's occasionally helpful in explaining how the outside world works.

The biggest failing of the movie is Tanya Roberts' acting.  Her best acting is when she sits stone-faced on her zebra as it gallops across the veldt.  The moment she speaks, her every line is delivered with desperate concern.  She sounds like someone about to lapse into a panic attack rather than a strong woman who is about to show these city folk who is in charge in the jungle.  She got this job because she looked good in the costume - what little there is of it.  After this, one wonders who thought she would make a good Bond girl in A View to a Kill?

On top of this, the villains are abysmally stupid.  Oh, let's drive our column of vehicles down a narrow defile where we don't know if it goes through.  Oh no!  We're stuck and natives are flanking us.  Bows and spears slaughter soldiers with rifles and machine guns.

Very weak.  Not a so bad that it's good.  No, this is a so bad that you cringe a lot.  Avoid.