Wednesday, July 30, 2014

E. T. the Extra-Terrestrial: 32 Years Later

32 years after I first saw it in theaters, I saw E. T. the Extra-Terrestrial again on the big screen.  I do not recall my thoughts on the film all those many years ago.  Seeing it again, I found it generally entertaining but also a bit silly.  In the opening, we see that E. T. has wandered far from his spacecraft and is unable to get back before it blasts back into space.  Fine, he's got these stumpy legs and walks only slightly faster than a turtle.  However, he did move with astonishing speed under cover of bushes when trying to get back to his ship.  How does that work?  But that is beside the point.  The big issue is that we discover he can fly!  We only see him fly when he is in the basket of Eliot's bicycle but one supposes he could fly without the added weight.  So, if he can fly, shouldn't he have been able to get back to his ship?

You are an alien on an alien world.  You are a highly-advanced being who can make an interstellar communicator out of children's toys, coffee cans, and an umbrella.  You know you are hunted by some of the native population but have managed to befriend several children.  You have the house to yourself while the family is away.  Do you a) work on a plan to reunite with your people or b) get falling-down drunk on the local inebriating drink?  E. T. chose plan b.  Maybe he isn't one of the brighter aliens.  In fact, many of his actions do paint him as a dimwit among star-hopping astronauts.

E.T. builds a distress beacon that will summon his people to rescue him from this harsh world.  Both he and Eliot are ill as they sit in the woods.  Eliot falls asleep.  Does E.T. a) remain close to Eliot and the beacon or b) wander off and fall into a creek for the night to exacerbate his illness?  Plan b it is.

E. T. manages to fake his death.  Perhaps it wasn't fake and his species just resurrects after death.  In any case, he has fooled the dullards that he is dead.  Left alone with only the young boy who is his ally, does he a) quietly slip away with Eliot's aide or b) make a ruckus that will attract the humans but for Eliot's intervention?  Yeah, plan b again.

It does seem that E.T. is an idiot-savant, at once brilliant and then a complete buffoon.  I can just imagine the aliens on the ship muttering about how that half-wit Zreck wandered off again.  They probably decided to leave him behind to teach him a lesson.  "Let's go explore the moons of Jupiter and come back to get Zreck in a few days."  Snicker snicker.

Luckily, it turns out that the humans are also idiots.  You know there is an alien hiding in the neighborhood and use all sort of high-tech gizmos to ferret him out.  You discover his emergency beacon still sending a signal.  Do you a) leave a bunch of guys there in case the ship shows up or b) get totally surprised when it shows up?  Oh, look, it landed in EXACTLY the same spot where it did last time.  Hmmm.

'Keys' (Peter Coyote) has wanted to meet an alien since he was 10.  He is eager to make peaceful contact, or so he tells Eliot.  With that in mind, should he a) move slowly and embody a non-threatening manner or b) arrive in a cavalry of off-road vehicles flashing high-beams and run after any movement with flashlights sweeping the forest like klieg lights?  He chose plan b .

It was funny to see C. Thomas Howell as one of the biker boys and Erika Eleniak - future Baywatch vixen - as Eliot's love interest.  Of course, Drew Barrymore is adorable as Eliot's younger sister.

When first I saw this, I was not the harsh critic I have become.  I liked virtually any movie I saw and never sought out plot holes.  Yes, those were innocent days.  Now all the plot holes, silliness, and inconsistencies are obvious and often annoying.  Still, it was fun to watch it again all these years later.  Strange to think this was the highest-grossing movie of the 1980s, a decade that saw Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi.

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