Pirates (1986)

The notorious pirate, Captain Thomas Bartholomew Red (Walter Matthau), and his sole remaining crewman, Frog (Cris Campion), are floating at sea on a rickety raft and starving.  The starvation is such that Red attempts to eat Frog.  Lucky for Frog, a Spanish galleon appears on the horizon.  They are soon aboard the ship and, despite Don Alfonso's wish to toss them overboard, are impressed as new crew.  Aware that the galleon has a golden throne in the hold, Red launches a mutiny to take the ship.  Those officers who survived - Don Alfonso (Damien Thomas) among them - are tossed into the brig.  The tables turn again and again.  Red is blind to everything but the golden Aztec throne, willing to toss away the lives of however many pirates as it takes to secure it.  Frog, his name is actually Jean-Baptiste but 'Frog' is a standard epithet for Frenchmen, is the naive and morale fellow who has fallen for Maria-Dolores (Charlotte Lewis).  He is torn between his duty to Captain Red and his desire for her.  Don Alfonso wants to marry Maria, hang the pirates, and take the gold to Spain.  How will it all end?

Walter Matthau would not have been my first choice to play a pirate but he is magnificent here.  He does a terrific job of being a cutthroat, greedy pirate but also comical and occasionally charming.  Despite his greed nearly costing him his life on several occasions, he never mends his ways.  This is often quite funny.

Damien Thomas was not the best choice for the villain.  He is too unlikable.  Sure, that's usually the point of the villain but he is technically the good guy.  There had originally been plans to cast Timothy Dalton, which would have been better.  Even when Thomas is trying to be charming, he comes across as an unsavory boor.

Though there is a lot to like about the movie, the story is unengaging.  Command of the ship just jumps between Don Alfonso and Captain Red.  Back and forth.  Worse, the ship gets repeatedly captured because Red is a really cunning pirate but Don Alfonso retakes it because Red is a greedy drunk.  Sure, it's funny once but it is less so with each iteration.  There is also a lot of unrelated fluff.  What's with the dying captain wishing he had been an Aztec?  Why include the attack of a comically fake snake on the minor character of Boomako?

Fun in parts.  Must see for Matthau fans.