Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) and Basil Shaw (Toby Jones) have been captured by Nazis at the end of World War II. They were in search of the Spear of Destiny, which proved to be a fake. Instead, they stumbled upon the Antikythera Mechanism in the possession of Dr. Voller (Mads Mikkelsen). The pair - mostly Indy - fight their way through a Nazi train and miraculously survive.
In 1969, Indy awoke to loud music from a young neighbor. After getting dressed, he heads to Hunter College, where he teaches. The students are mostly disinterested though one offers all the answers to any question he poses. Helena (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) was not a student, but rather the daughter of Basil Shaw. She declares her interest in the Antikythera Mechanism and proposes that they go hunting for it. As luck would have it, it is in a storage vault at Hunter College. No sooner does she lay hands on it than murderous CIA agents arrive. Helena flees, leaving Indy to deal with the CIA. The CIA is in league with Dr. Voller, who became part of the US Space Program since the war. Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), who moved to New York after the war to become a cab driver, provides Indy with his adventure gear and passport so he can chase after Helena. He finds her in Morrocco, attempting to sell the Antikythera. Instead, Voller arrives and absconds with it. Now Indy, Helena, and Teddy (Ethann Isidore) must find the other part of the Antikythera before Voller does.
The movie is better than I expected, but not good. Though spry for his age, Harrison Ford is no longer suited for this kind of role. Helena is an inexplicable character. Here she steals from Indy and has no concern that she has left him at the mercy of murders. Despite being the daughter of a committed academic, she likes to sell antiquities to the highest bidder. Then she is chased by her former fiance who intends to lop off her head. Talk about a toxic relationship. When half of her allies are murdered by Voller's goons, she is more thrilled about how she, Indy, and Teddy escaped. It is hard to determine what her motivations are. Teddy could have been eliminated altogether. The idea that he learned to fly from a drunken pilot based on cardboard cutouts is ludicrous. However, to have the epic motorcycle chasing plane scene, they needed a third character to fly the rescue plane. Ugh.
Time travel? Why'd it have to be time travel? I hate time travel. Yes, it turns out that Archimedes invented a time travel device, but it only allows roundtrips from current time to the Siege of Syracuse (216 BC) and back. How in the hell did the Nazis manage to get their plane shot down by Roman siege weapons? Seriously, why don't you gain some altitude? No, we're going to skim back and forth 40 yards above the Roman ships until they shoot us down. Behold the stupidity.
The special effects were disappointing. Sometimes, the de-aging of Harrison Ford was great. Most of the time, it looked off. The chased through the tickertape parade looked particularly bad. Doubtless it is much cheaper to computer animate a parade through New York City, but this is really a scene that should have been filmed via practical effects. Heck, a lot of it should have been. The boat full of eels was likewise unconvincing. Too much green screen and not enough stuntmen.
The marital issues with Indy and Marion over Mutt's death in Vietnam was unnecessary background. It just made for a depressing Indy. Look, Indy is old, his son is dead, his wife has filed for divorce, his students are not interested in his class, his career is over with his retirement after class, he hands his retirement gift to a random guy on the street, and his god daughter is stealing from him. It's no wonder that Indy wanted to get left behind to die with Archimedes at the end of the movie. What have they done to Indiana Jones?
Mostly disappointing. Watch one of the original three instead.
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