Sunday, May 31, 2026

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)

During WWII, the British were having a hard time in the war thanks to the submarine warfare of Germany.  They discovered a weakness in the U-boat fleet; air filters.  If they could destroy enough air filters, it would hamstring the German U-boats' operations.  The Germans were sailing out of Fernando Po, a Spanish-held island off the coast of Africa.  Spain was neutral, so attacking German ships in port was an act of war.  Brigadier Gubbins (Cary Elwes), codename M, knew just the man for the job: Augustus 'Gus' March-Phillips (Henry Cavill).  Gus agreed to the mission but only if he could pick his team.  One of his choices was unavailable, as he was in a German camp.  No problem, we'll rescue him on the way.

The team is split in two parts: Heron (Babs Olusanmokun) and Marjorie Stewart (Eiza Gonzalez) traveled to Fernando Po openly, while Gus and his crew of commandos travel by sailboat.  Heron owned a bar on Fernando Po and collaborates with the British.  Marjorie was an entertainer and tasked with seducing the sadistic Nazi commander, Heinrich Luhr (Til Schweiger).  They were to scout the area and provide intel to the sailboat team.  Gus and crew had run-ins with both a German ship and a Royal Navy ship, both of whom wanted to stop them.

The movie is jam-packed with action.  Explosions, stabbings, shootings, hacking with axes, extreme archery, and even some fisticuffs and wrestling.  There is no shortage of blood and death.  What there is a shortage of is danger.  Even in the most dire circumstances, it never feels like the characters are threatened.  The crack team of commandos kill vast swathes of Nazis and rarely suffer a bruise.  In the final battle, one character took a bullet to the shoulder.  Ooh, that must sting.

Though based on a true story, it comes off as an over-the-top action extravaganza.  First, Anders Lassen (Alan Ritchson) is like a force of nature that just rips through Nazis like a hot knife through butter.  He kills multiple Nazis with a single arrow, clears the lower decks of a ship with an axe, slices, dices, and stabs Nazi sailors without suffering any injury other than a shirt stained with blood.  Is he some sort of superhero?  Marjorie is supposed to be the femme fatale who uses her wiles and sexuality to distract and seduce.  Of course, she's also the best shot, embarrassing the locals that Heron has recruited.  Luhr, who had been hyped as this nasty and formidable boss, was dispatched with ease.  Sigh.

There are some fun bits.  Ian Flemming (Freddie Fox) is M's adjutant.  When he said, "Fleming, Ian Fleming," I chuckled.  For those not in the know, Ian Flemming wrote the James Bond books and served in British Intelligence during World War II.  According to the IMDb Trivia, Gus March-Phillips was an inspiration for Bond.  Cavill, Ritchson, and Henry Golding have great chemistry, making a fine team.

As far as spy movies go, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. was better.  Still, this was good popcorn fun, as most Guy Ritchie films are.

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