Monday, October 12, 2026

Bird on a Wire (1990)

Marianne Graves (Goldie Hawn) is a successful New York lawyer on a business trip to Detroit.  While there, she stops at a gas station/garage and recognizes the gas attendant.  It's Rick Jarmin (Mel Gibson), her fiancĂ© who went missing in Mexico fifteen years ago!  He denies it, claiming to be from Tennessee.  No sooner does she leave - not entirely convinced - than he called the FBI and demanded to be relocated.  Yes, he is in witness protection.  His regular contact unavailable, he is routed to Joe Weyburn (Stephen Tobolowsky), who agrees to move him in a couple of days.  That night, Marianne returned to the garage to take another look.  To her surprise, armed men attack the garage.  She recklessly drives at them and manages to get Rick in the car and race away.

The men were Eugene Sorenson (David Carradine) and Albert Diggs (Bill Duke), former DEA agents.  Sorenson is fresh out of prison, put there by Jarmin's testimony, and is eager for revenge.  Diggs has been on the lam for the last 15 years and would like to kill the only man who could put him in jail.

Rick knew that someone at the FBI had revealed his location.  Worse, the police were now looking to arrest him and Marianne for the shootout at the garage.  They were on the run!  Lou Baird (Jeff Corey) was the only man Rick trusted to sort things out.

The movie is one long chase with romantic comedy between the leads along the way.  The chase takes many forms.  There are car chases, motorcycle chases, a helicopter chase, and finally a showdown at a zoo.  During their cross-country escape, Rick visits several of his previous protection locations, which shows that he has had an interesting career path: carpenter, hairdresser, car mechanic, veterinary clinic pilot, and zoo employee.  Each came with a different name and even a change in personality.

Goldie Hawn was in amazing shape for her age.  There are multiple semi-nude shots or lose skirts that got caught in a breeze to demonstrate that.  The script was not great in explaining her continued presence on this adventure.  Does she view Rick as the one that got away?  Yeah, but she does seem rather annoyed with him for much of the movie.  Does running make sense because the police are after her?  Not really.  It's like the script forgot she was a successful lawyer; I suppose criminal law wasn't her thing.

Mel Gibson is Mel Gibson.  There is a little bit of variety with the change in accent based on what former life he is visiting, but otherwise it is a standard Mel Gibson character.

The villains are introduced grandly and then become cardboard cutouts who prove mostly incompetent.  Sure, it's a comedy - sort of - but the villains can't hit an easy target with superior weaponry and even fully automatic fire.  The finale was a comedy of errors by Rick and Marianne.  They both lost weapons before they could even use them, each either beaten or shot, and yet they survived.  Yeah, these are some really pathetic villains.

Just okay.

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