What? (1972)

Nancy (Sydne Rome) is an American who is traveling the world.  On this particular night, she is in a car with a trio of Italians, one of whom asks if she was raped while traveling in Afghanistan.  Of course not, she always meets nice people.  So the Italians pull to the side of the road and attempt to rape the naive and clueless American.  Luckily, she slips away with only her diary and uses an elevator to a villa to escape.  Treating her as just another guest, an older man shows her to a room and a maid makes the bed.  Her shirt is badly torn and she wore neither bra nor panties, so she climbs naked into bed.  In the morning, her shirt is gone, so she wanders the villa holding her diary to her chest.

The villa is occupied by a bizarre collection of people.  There is Alex (Marcello Mastroianni) the former pimp who has the hots for Nancy.  There is Mosquito (Roman Polanski), who is feuding with Alex and wears Nancy's shirt - it has been mended.  There is the naked girl who goes daily to the beach with only a big-brimmed hat and high heels.  There are a pair of ping pong players, one of whom is a sex addict whose pelvis thrusts even when he sleeps.  There is the priest who warns Nancy to get out while she can.  The pianist who repeatedly explains his arthritis and then commences to play the piano.  All of these odd balls are somehow involved with Joseph Noblart (Hugh Griffith), the owner of the villa who is quite sick.

Despite having nearly been raped, Nancy doesn't contact the authorities.  Instead, she gets involved with the creepy Alex, who treats her poorly.  She is repeatedly warned against him, told he has syphilis, sees him antagonize others, but nonetheless falls victim - albeit willing - to his seduction.  In fact, she reacted with great interest when he said he had been a pimp.  When he had her handcuffed on the beach and thrashed her with a branch, she proclaimed her love for him.  What?

The movie is an excuse to get Sydne Rome naked.  She spends a lot of time topless and has several scenes of full nudity.  Her acting is wooden.  She is mostly a wide-eyed naif who is astonished by each trial she endures.  This is the kind of movie that gave European films a bad reputation in America.

Roman Polanski had high expectations for this film and agreed to direct Chinatown based on the opening box office of this film.  That proved to be $64.  Yeah, that sounds about right.

Skip.

That Lucky Touch (1975)

Michael Scott (Roger Moore) is an arms dealer.  Julia Richardson is a single mother and freelance reporter.  By chance, they are neighbors in an apartment building.  While Michael is trying to sell a revolutionary gun to NATO during the annual war games held in Belgium, Julia is digging for a story that can paint the military in a negative light.  Julia's ex-husband was a staff officer for General Henry Steedman (Lee J. Cobb), so she is a close friend of the general's wife, Diana Steedman (Shelley Winters).  As a well-known arms dealer, Michael has pitched his gun to General Steedman.  Inevitably, Michael and Julia find themselves thrust into one another's company.  As a pacifist do-gooder, Julia is horrified by Michael's line of work, but she also finds him handsome.

Not exactly a rom-com, but it has its moments of high-comedy; Lee J. Cobb answering the red phone at headquarters is the peak.  I never thought of Cobb as a comedy actor.  Roger Moore plays against type by having terrible luck with women.  However, he does have that Bond talent for gambling.  Susannah York is mostly a source of trouble.  The general knows that she's going to paint him badly in a forthcoming article and, sure enough, she does.  Moreover, she engineered a lot of the trouble.  Considering that he had Sophie (Sydne Rome) as a steady bedmate, it was foolhardy for Michael to be making a pass at Julia.

Made between The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) and The Spy Who Loved Me (1977), the poster plays up Moore's Bond persona.  That is solely for marketing and deceived viewers on what to expect.

Just okay.

Bulldog Drummond

Richard "Bulldog" Drummond was a popular character who first appeared after World War I.  A former captain in the trenches, he missed the action and excitement so he became a gentleman adventurer.  Not exactly a spy or a private eye but certainly someone who could resolve problems.  He appeared in nearly 20 novels and more than 20 films.  His last notable appearance was in a couple of films in the late 60s staring Richard Johnson, a British actor who declined the offer of James Bond in Dr. No.

Deadlier than the Male (1967): Richard Drummond, veteran of the Korean War, has been called upon to investigate some peculiar deaths that have been very beneficial to a mysterious and nameless figure.  This mysterious person's representative is Irma Eckman (Elke Sommer).  Irma is an assassin who uses her sex appeal to seduce men and kill them.  She often teams with fellow assassin Penelope (Sylva Koscina).  To complicate Drummond's investigation, his nephew has arrived in London and needs a place to crash.  The nameless figure proves to be Carl Peterson (Nigel Green), an evil mastermind with a castle for a lair that is filled with beautiful and deadly women from all over the world.  Drummond must outwit him to save a Middle Eastern monarch, his nephew, and himself!  It is a standard James Bond knock-off with beautiful femme fatales, a menacing villain with a lair full of minions, and plenty of action.  It drifts a bit to the campy side in some scenes but is generally fun.

Some Girls Do (1969): Carl Peterson (James Villiers) has returned and this time he is trying to sabotage the development of a supersonic plane.  As before, he has a bevy of gorgeous women who do his dirty work, the most notable being Helga (Daliah Lavi).  Most of them have been 'robotized,' which is not well-defined.  Peterson's final gambit is to destroy the prototype while in flight by use of infrasound technology.  Drummond is called upon after early sabotage efforts have plagued the project and follows leads that take him to Peterson's latest lair with the "help" of Flicky (Sydne Rome) and Peregrine Carruthers (Ronnie Stevens).  Flicky is a gorgeous ditz who follows - unasked - Drummond from place to place with unlikely stories to explain her presence.  Carruthers is a comic relief sidekick who tends to be more hindrance than help.  This is practically a remake of its predecessor but campier.  Villiers lacks the magnetism of Nigel Green though he does exhibit the master-of-disguise talent that Green didn't.  Nonetheless, I preferred Green in the role.

The movies are entertaining but it's clear why the series did not continue.  It's very sixties.  Drummond is kind of a bland adventurer with the attributes of a spy in the mold of Bond but not a government.  Peterson is a weak villain compared to Blofeld and SPECTRE.  Of course, the second movie is clearly inspiration for Austin Power's fembots.

Popcorn fun.