Battleship

Our story opens in 2006. Astronomers have discovered a ‘Goldilocks’ planet that is not too far nor too close to its sun and thus might be inhabitable by humans. The powers that be decided to send transmissions.  Meanwhile, Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) is celebrating his 26th birthday at a bar with his older brother, who is trying to convince him to join the navy.  A girl enters the bar and Alex, who is the personification of a screw-up, decides to woo her.  Thus follows an uproariously funny quest for a chicken burrito.

The story resumes in 2012. Alex is now in the navy and dating the beautiful girl, who happens to be the admiral’s daughter. The admiral (Liam Neeson) is not fond of Alex. Amidst this soap opera, five alien ships soar toward Earth. One is destroyed when it hits a satellite on reentry but the other four arrive intact in the Pacific Ocean, just south of Hawaii. Three destroyers are sent to investigate. Of course, Alex is on one of the destroyers.

The aliens prove tentative in their actions and prove willing to not destroy a vessel that doesn’t engage them. Their weapon of choice is a large peg-like explosive that tumbles through the air and then drills into a vessel before exploding; it looks suspiciously like the pegs in the Battleship game. Also of note, radar doesn’t work so all shots against the enemy must be ‘guesses.’ This proves particularly familiar when the destroyer fires at buoy markers on a grid. Nice touch.

It soon becomes clear that the aliens are trying to secure the very system that sent the signals to the ‘goldilocks’ planet, presumably to request reinforcements. Can our heroes prevent more alien vessels from arriving?

 

There are some annoying features. For some reason, Lt. Hopper and Petty Officer Raikes (Rihanna) are assigned to every task. The two take a small boat to investigate the alien platform, later they are stalking the halls of the destroyer with M-16s in search of an intruder, and Alex examines a dead alien. Later, he is involved in moving ordinance through the ship. There are personnel for each of these jobs. Granted, the director wants his stars to get a lot of screen time and Alex and Raikes staying at their posts would seriously limit their action potential.

The aliens are pretty inscrutable. They had the firepower to blast a ship out of the water with little trouble but wouldn’t engage (mostly) until fired upon. If this is an invasion force, why not attack from orbit? It is learned that the alien communications ship was destroyed by hitting the satellite, parts of it crashing into Hong Kong. Why couldn’t these guys steer around the satellite? The movie ends with the potential for a sequel in which the alien thinking might be explained. Or maybe not.

The movie is amazingly entertaining and far exceeded my expectations. It is funny, action-packed, and engaging. It is great popcorn fun. I’m surprised it didn’t become a blockbuster.