The movie opens in 1933 where a young boy dressed as the lone ranger (the radio series debuted in 1933) enters a tent that claims to have the wonders of the Old West. There, he encounters Tonto. The wizened old Indian tells the true tale of the Lone Ranger.
The movie is often fun but just as often absurd and irritating. As with the last Lone Ranger movie (1981), this one takes place near Monument Valley which was apparently part of Texas in 1869, not Utah. Maybe it moved since then. Yeah, it is a staple location in Westerns but I find it bothersome nonetheless.
There are two great faults with the movie. First, the action is so extreme that it is more likely to induce eye-rolling than thrills. Of course, this is all being told from Tanto’s point of view and he may be exaggerating in his telling; that might work in a book or with some voice narration but it didn’t fly here. Many of the stunts had to be done with CGI. Second, Armie Hammer was an embarrassment as the Lone Ranger. He comes across as a complete buffoon, an incompetent who should have died shortly after we meet him. He is always a fish out of water and often rants at Tonto. He is repeatedly humiliated by the script and rarely looks like a hero. Again and again, he survives through dumb luck. In an homage to the original series, the only times he actually hits a target, he shoots the gun out of their hand. See, the Lone Ranger doesn’t shoot to kill. However, he fires scores of bullets in the finale but never hits. Was he intentionally missing?
The movie runs afoul of history. It is widely known that the railroad finally connected the east coast to the west coast in 1869. There is a famous photo of the event. In this movie, the joining takes place in Colby, Texas, rather than Utah. Really? You know the transcontinental railroad didn’t even pass partially through Texas? Apparently not.
Now for the just plain silly. Red Harrington, who runs the whore house, lost her right leg in an untold backstory. Apparently, Butch Cavendish was the culprit. So, she now has a prosthetic leg made of ivory that has a built-in shotgun. Sure, that was common in the Old West. Just a few miles east of where the railroads meet, there turns out to be two parallel tracks that zig and zag through the woods, which proves to be ideal for a two train chase finale. Sure, why not. Our heroes rob a bank and steal a wagonload of explosives. Of course, the part where they carry it all out to a wagon (which they did not have), load it up, and then drive away, all happens off screen. So, two men did this labor intense robbery in broad daylight in the Old West where most citizens had guns? I’d like to have seen that. Tonto discovers a secret railroad track in Comanche territory. Huh? It’s really hard to build a secret railroad. Silver the Flying Horse. Yes, somehow, Silver finds his way onto rooftops and even into a tree. Racing across the roof of a train was a bit much too. Oh, and when Silver licked scorpions off the Lone Ranger’s face and ate them, that was pretty strange too. At one point, our heroes are sitting at a campfire when several rabbits scoot nearby. Tonto tosses them a part of the rabbit that is cooking over the fire and the rabbits bare their fangs and devour it! What? I was hoping to see a Western but instead found a Fantasy film set in the Old West.
The movie is often fun but just as often absurd and irritating. As with the last Lone Ranger movie (1981), this one takes place near Monument Valley which was apparently part of Texas in 1869, not Utah. Maybe it moved since then. Yeah, it is a staple location in Westerns but I find it bothersome nonetheless.
There are two great faults with the movie. First, the action is so extreme that it is more likely to induce eye-rolling than thrills. Of course, this is all being told from Tanto’s point of view and he may be exaggerating in his telling; that might work in a book or with some voice narration but it didn’t fly here. Many of the stunts had to be done with CGI. Second, Armie Hammer was an embarrassment as the Lone Ranger. He comes across as a complete buffoon, an incompetent who should have died shortly after we meet him. He is always a fish out of water and often rants at Tonto. He is repeatedly humiliated by the script and rarely looks like a hero. Again and again, he survives through dumb luck. In an homage to the original series, the only times he actually hits a target, he shoots the gun out of their hand. See, the Lone Ranger doesn’t shoot to kill. However, he fires scores of bullets in the finale but never hits. Was he intentionally missing?
The movie runs afoul of history. It is widely known that the railroad finally connected the east coast to the west coast in 1869. There is a famous photo of the event. In this movie, the joining takes place in Colby, Texas, rather than Utah. Really? You know the transcontinental railroad didn’t even pass partially through Texas? Apparently not.
Now for the just plain silly. Red Harrington, who runs the whore house, lost her right leg in an untold backstory. Apparently, Butch Cavendish was the culprit. So, she now has a prosthetic leg made of ivory that has a built-in shotgun. Sure, that was common in the Old West. Just a few miles east of where the railroads meet, there turns out to be two parallel tracks that zig and zag through the woods, which proves to be ideal for a two train chase finale. Sure, why not. Our heroes rob a bank and steal a wagonload of explosives. Of course, the part where they carry it all out to a wagon (which they did not have), load it up, and then drive away, all happens off screen. So, two men did this labor intense robbery in broad daylight in the Old West where most citizens had guns? I’d like to have seen that. Tonto discovers a secret railroad track in Comanche territory. Huh? It’s really hard to build a secret railroad. Silver the Flying Horse. Yes, somehow, Silver finds his way onto rooftops and even into a tree. Racing across the roof of a train was a bit much too. Oh, and when Silver licked scorpions off the Lone Ranger’s face and ate them, that was pretty strange too. At one point, our heroes are sitting at a campfire when several rabbits scoot nearby. Tonto tosses them a part of the rabbit that is cooking over the fire and the rabbits bare their fangs and devour it! What? I was hoping to see a Western but instead found a Fantasy film set in the Old West.
I did enjoy Johnny Depp as Tonto. He is a more developed character than the Lone Ranger and more sympathetic as well. All too often, he proves to be correct in his assessment of the situation and is constantly foiled by the naïve Lone Ranger. Really, the movie should have been called Tonto. His scenes as an old man talking to the young boy were some of the best in the movie. My biggest issue with Tonto was that he changed his mind about the supernatural at the end of the movie. Always he is saying that the evil of the Wendigo (Butch Cavendish) explained the bizarre happenings in nature (e.g. the carnivorous rabbits) but at the end, he proclaims that he was wrong. Huh? Then what explains the cannibal rabbits?
As mentioned, it could just be that Tonto – as narrator – gave himself more credit than he deserved and spiced up the story with tales of flying spirit horses and fanged rabbits. I’d rather have seen it played straight and not made a fool of the Lone Ranger. Wait to see it on Netflix.
As mentioned, it could just be that Tonto – as narrator – gave himself more credit than he deserved and spiced up the story with tales of flying spirit horses and fanged rabbits. I’d rather have seen it played straight and not made a fool of the Lone Ranger. Wait to see it on Netflix.
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