Barbie (2023)

Barbie (Margot Robbie) lives an idyllic life in Barbieland.  It is a land where women are accomplished and men are accessories.  Ken (Ryan Gosling) is less fulfilled.  Unless he gets Barbie's attention, he feels empty and worthless.  Barbie's world starts to go awry when she ponders death, much to the horror of the other Barbies.  Then she finds her shower is cold, her milk is sour, and her feet are inexplicably flat.  She must consult Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon), who explains that a rift has been opened between the real world and Barbieland.  To seal the rift, Barbie must go to the real world, find the girl who plays with her, and fix whatever ails her.  Barbie would rather not but finally relents.  To her shock and dismay, Ken has stowed away in the Barbiecar and come to the real world with her.

Barbie is dismayed to find that men dominate the real world, including that the CEO (Will Ferrell) and the entire board for Mattel is exclusively male.  They want to box her up and send her back to Barbieland!  Meanwhile, Ken is delighted to find himself acknowledged.  One woman even asks him for the time!  He learns of patriarchy and horses!  While Barbie continues her search for the girl who plays with her, Ken returns to Barbieland to establish the patriarchy!

The story of Barbie is, surprisingly, that of Pinocchio.  She is unwittingly on a journey to become a real woman.  Along the way, she gets ogled, arrested, upbraided by a middle school girl (Ariana Greenblatt), and pursued by Mattel goons, but she does meet her girl - who proves to be an adult (America Ferrera).  The changes that Ken has wrought in Barbieland begin to show in the real world!  Now, Barbie must return to Barbieland and save it from Ken!

The relationship dynamics are shallow.  Barbieland had virtually no conflict - beyond some jealousy among the Kens - and was basically a female Utopia.  In fact, Ken really has some valid objections to Barbieland.  Obviously, I am not the primary audience for the film and can't really identify with some of Barbie's concerns.  The end message is weird.  So, Barbie was upset that the real world was dominated by men and yet that is the world she chose.  The final scene where I thought she was reporting for her first day as a female member of the Mattel Board - thus correcting that glaring oversight - was instead her first gynecology appointment.  Really?

By contrast, Ken's story arc is more interesting.  He exists in a world where he is an accessory and has no real purpose.  His visit to the real world and return swings the pendulum from Barbieland to Kendom.  Ken gets a song and dance routine, which is hilarious.  Though vapid and shallow, Ken is quite likable, almost childlike in how he views the world.

Overall, fun and vibrant.  Good popcorn fun. 

The Suicide Squad (2021)

Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) is bringing the band back together for a new mission.  The first recruit is Savant (Michael Rooker), a man with supernatural spatial awareness.  He can bounce a ball off a wall and ricochet it on three more walls before it hits an unsuspecting bird.  In exchange for 10 years off his 15 year sentence, Savant accepts a suicide mission to Corto Maltese.  Other members of the team are Colonel Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman), Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney), Mongal, Javelin, TDK, Blackguard, and the Weasel.  No sooner have they landed on the beach than all hell breaks loose.  The landing is compromised!  Meanwhile, on a different beach, another suicide squad has landed.  Bloodsport (Idris Elba) leads this team, which has benefited from the distraction of the first suicide squad.  Among his forces are Peacemaker (John Cena), Ratcatcher 2, Polka-Dot Man, and King Shark (voiced by Sylvester Stallone!).

The movie is hilarious, a massive improvement over its predecessor.  Bloodsport plays the straight man with his team, being the only relatable person.  Everyone else is odder than the next.  Ratcatcher 2 is basically the Pied Piper, capable of summoning rats to do her bidding.  She has a pet rat named Sebastian.  She is always tired but has a good heart.  Peacemaker is so keen on peace that he will kill as many men, women, and children as it takes to get it.  The constant one-upmanship between Bloodsport and Peacemaker is great fun.  He delivers ridiculous lines with the utmost seriousness.  I had been impressed by John Cena's comic abilities in Trainwreck and that was no fluke.  He's terrific and I am now eager to watch the spinoff series, Peacemaker.  The Polka-Dot Man, who looked like he might be some cringy villain, is absolutely stellar.  Though arguably the most powerful member, he is clearly not leader material. Despite being depressed and infected with a potentially lethal multidimensional virus, he is a constant source of laughs.  Oh, to see through his eyes!  His mom is epic!   As great as all these characters are, King Shark is nonstop fun.  Silvester Stallone does his best dumb Rocky voice, making the constantly hungry shark-man a source of immense humor.  He is both childlike and monstrous.  He's nigh indestructible, insanely strong, and a lovable dunce.  His primary attack is to eat you!  And he eats a lot in this movie!  Num num.

James Gunn had taken the low tier material of Guardians of the Galaxy and turned it into gold.  Here, he has done it again.  More of this and the DC-verse could become an equal competitor to the MCU, especially since Marvel has been sagging since Avengers: Endgame.

Highly recommended.  Great popcorn fun.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019)

Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a B actor whose career is starting to fade.  His one time staring credit in a popular western TV series - Bounty Law - now gets him guest appearances as the bad guy du jour.  His long time stuntman, Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), serves as his driver, handyman, and best friend.  It just so happens that Rick lives next door to Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate.

The movie reminded me of Hail Caesar!  The setting is the main character and all the actions just offer more details of a specific time.  Tarantino is celebrating late 60s Hollywood in this movie, offering a deep dive into the era through the main characters.  Behold the nostalgia.

Pitt and DiCaprio are excellent in their roles and, though most of the movie has little to nothing to do with the climax, it is always fun and engaging.  After watching this, I wanted to go rent the 14 Fists of McCluskey and check out a couple episodes of Bounty Law.

Definitely worth seeing though I'm not sure I'd say anything here is Oscar material.  Well, set design is pretty impressive.

Thumbs up.

Mary Queen of Scots (2018)

World History: A Social Justice Warrior Interpretation.

Lord Randolph is a black man.  Scotsman George Dalgleish is black.  Andrew Ker is black.  Bess of Hardwick is Chinese.  After this, I don't want to hear another complaint about Mickey Rooney playing Japanese, Johnny Depp as Tonto, or John Wayne as Genghis Khan.  This movie screams out that it is not history.  The slave trade that brought blacks to Europe had barely begun but this movie proposes that blacks are long integrated into the society and have risen to the nobility.  If this was a high school or college play, that's fine.  But big budget film?  No.

 

David Rizzio, who served as a secretary for Queen Mary, is openly gay.  Also, he has an affair with Henry Darnley - Mary's husband - on their wedding night!  Right.  Well, it is true that Rizzio was accused of impregnating the queen because of his close association with her and Darnley was estranged from Mary very soon after the marriage but this is an interesting bit of fiction.  The brutal murder of Rizzio takes on a new meaning when he is homosexual.

 

Mary Stuart was raised in France.  She was married to the King of France, Francis II.  He died young and she returned to Scotland, where she had been queen since she was a week old.  She should not have an Irish accent.  The movie is more interested in listening to Mary titter and squeal with her ladies in waiting than ponder the decisions and crises that led to her abdication, English imprisonment, and execution.  Her menstrual cycle figures in the story because that's unique to Reformation royalty.

 

The characters are mostly unlikeable and I cared not a whit when Rizzio was murdered or Darnley strangled.  Even Mary seals her fate in an exchange (entirely fictional) in which she tells Queen Elizabeth that she is her superior.  No, Mary was quite clearly Elizabeth's inferior except that she managed to birth a child.  Mary's son became King of England and Scotland upon Elizabeth's death.

 

This is crap.  I was very tempted to walk out.  Avoid this turkey.

Suicide Squad

The movie opens with our anti-heroes in a secret prison somewhere in the swamps of Louisiana.  There is Deadshot (Will Smith), an assassin with uncanny accuracy.  Next there is Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), a former prison psychiatrist who fell in love with a patient.  The patient was the Joker (Jared Leto).  Then we have Killer Croc, a fellow who looks to be half crocodile and half human.  For inexplicable reasons, his cell in under a sewer grate and whole animal carcasses are tossed down for meal time.  Uh huh.  Lastly, we see Diablo, a heavily tattooed gangbanger who happens to be a human flamethrower.

In Washington DC, Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) has a meeting at the Pentagon.  One attendee asks what they would have done if Superman had ripped the roof off the White House and grabbed the president.  She wants to make use of these super villains.  Of course, never addressed is the fact that her team of super villains would have been no match for Superman but let's not discuss that.  To demonstrate her point, she calls for Enchantress (Cara Delevingne).  The Enchantress retrieves top secret material from Iran in the blink of an eye.  Of note, Enchantress is not a willing pawn for Waller, who keeps her leashed by having her heart in briefcase.  No sooner is her idea approved than Enchantress goes rogue and attempts to destroy the world.  Who can save us now?

The Suicide Squad is activated and additional members arrive as they don their combat gear.  There is Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney) and Slipknot.  Rick Flag (Joel Kennaman) of Special Forces will command the team with the aid of Katana (Karen Fukuhara) and a contingent of Navy Seals.  The mission is to rescue a VIP from the area where Enchantress is active but not to engage Enchantress.  Go!  Where are Batman (Ben Affleck) and Flash, both of whom appeared in flashbacks in this movie.

Do these villains add value to the Seal Team?  Deadshot makes sense.  The guy is murderous with a gun and has uncanny accuracy.  Yes, he is an asset.  Diablo shoots fire.  He is a walking flamethrower!  Huge asset.  Killer Croc is inhumanly strong, has natural armor, and swims like a fish.  Could be useful.  Slipknot is a skilled climber with a variety of tools to allow him to scale anything very quickly.  Potentially useful in a cityscape.  Captain Boomerang is a burglar who throws boomerangs.  Any super powers?  Nope.  Oh, but he had a boomerang with a camera that served as a drone.  The special forces didn't have an actual drone to do that?  You know, you can buy drones at Walmart these days?  Let's move on to Katana.  Skilled martial artist who specializes in using a soul-sucking katana.  Could be useful in close combat but I don't see her as more useful than a Navy Seal.  Harley Quinn is a mental case who is, for unclear reasons, unusually skilled in close combat (psychiatry training is more strenuous than I thought).  Her favored weapon is a baseball bat but she also has a pistol.  More trouble than she's worth.

The movie is just too cartoony.  Joker was particularly bad.  In the Tim Burton era, we knew that Gotham was in an alternate universe with gothic architecture and perpetual darkness.  It was a place where a villain might have a bunch of machinegun wielding clowns as members of his gang.  His was a dark version of the 60s TV show.  Chris Nolan's universe sought to be closer to reality, allowing greater verisimilitude with somewhat more realistic action and villains.  In Dark Knight, Joker's goons might wear a clown mask but a Panda Suit would be out of the question!  Suicide Squad mixes the two styles, giving a setting closer to Nolan's but characters that would fit better into Burton's.  That doesn't work.

 

Jared Leto is the wrong actor for the Joker.  He has the face of a 17 year-old.  He reminds me of David Cassidy from the Partridge Family.  He is only menacing because the script says so.  Leto does the crazy but not the threatening.  Where Jack Nicholson and Cesar Romero were presentable and Heath Ledger viewed grooming as optional, Jared Leto is the metrosexual Joker.  Maybe his best work was left on the cutting room floor.

 

Now for the utter stupidity.  June Moone is supposedly an archeologist but when she finds an ancient artifact, she immediately snaps off the head and unleashes the evil spirit contained within.  Maybe we could have had it break accidentally rather than through vandalism.  Deadshot has a gun bracelet on his arm which he used at one point to make an impossible shot.  It is a stupid weapon that should be useless beyond a dozen yards.  Once the VIP is recovered, the pickup helicopter flies into the path of the big baddie rather than directly away.  Sigh.  Waller slaughters her staff.  Well, that shows how nasty she is.  Murder charges, anyone?  No?  Enchantress can teleport to Iran and back in an instant and pops in and out so fast that she nearly trounces the Suicide Squad single-handedly.  Why didn't she just grab the briefcase with her heart and thus end Waller's influence over her?  The fact that Enchantress went rogue demonstrates that Waller is incompetent.  She thought she could manage Enchantress and failed miserably, causing all the trouble that followed in the movie.  She should be tossed into a cell between Deadshot and Harley Quinn at the secret prison.

 

It has its moments but rarely rises above mediocre.  There is a lot of good material and interesting characters here but this was the wrong story for them.  Maybe Suicide Squad 2 will turn this around.